I used to enjoy shopping at JCPenney. Note I said used to - past tense - as it is unlikely I'll be shopping there again any time in the future.
Things were going great when they would send me print adverts with coupons. Those coupons made me feel like I was getting a deal and I felt loyal to a very old brand. Then the markdowns...oh those beautiful hours of hunting through the racks to find the $50 pants for 12 bucks. I have a home filled with JCP housewares and workout clothes (the two types of products for which I've spent much more than one should on things that aren't actually necessities). Good times.
Then in February odds 2012 the screaming started.
Oddly enough, those screaming commercials only lasted a month or so, but I've been screaming ever since. JCP suffered an identity crisis in which they thought they were the product of "If They Mated: Wal-Mart Target edition." No sales. No coupons. No damned sense if you ask me. I only went one or twice during that period and I hated it.
Apparently the TICs (a.k.a. twits in charge) went to Dr. Phil who pompously pointed out to them that the new strategy want working out so well. Maybe they just read the sales reports that indicated an exodus of customers not seen since the Old Testament was taking place. Enter reboot #2: back to markdowns and coupons.
The problem though is that while they went back to the gimmicks I loved, they eliminated the selection on brands I like to instead focus on aspirational customers by offering lower-end versions of luxe brands made especially for JCP. Mango for JCP. Nicole Miller for JCP. The Ralph Lauren knockoff line American Living. In-store Sephora. The list goes on and on. Meanwhile, nice mid-line stuff that once gave rise to a wide selection has all but disappeared.
Now finally, the last straw.
I'm trying to improve my health situation by exercising. I like to wear quality active wear that is stylish and doesn't look like I pulled it out of the reject dumpster behind the goodwill resale. As I mentioned earlier, the vast majority of my workout attire came from JCP. AGAIN PAST TENSE because apparently JCP doesn't want my money anymore. Despite fashionable activewear being all the rage during Fashion Week and in every industry publication, JCP doesn't want to focus on affordable options for plus sizes. They have plenty of selection for the skinny set, but we larger people are apparently supposed to either wear potato sack rags to the gym or just stay home.
After a scathing commentary I delivered to the shop girls when they informed me I was shit out of luck if I wanted to look pretty while working out, I left without buying anything. Then I went to the one place where fat people are free to roam without judgement (ignoring the infamous internet website): Wal-Mart.
I hate Wal-Mart. I mean I really really HATE Wal-Mart. I'm not even going to bite you with the reasons - just take my word for it that the feeling is intense. Even so, after I left JCP I promptly went to Satan's living room and dropped $100 on 3 new sets of exercise pants with cute matching tops.
It's bad enough that you pushed me our of your store Penney's, but leaving me to last resort shop at HellMart? For THAT I will never forgive you. You can't see me, but I'm totally flipping you the fin.