I'm melting!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Actually, that is probably what my paralegal imagines I would say if she poured a bucket of water on me. Little does she know that I want her to succeed and that when she doesn't meet my expectations it is usually because I have set unrealistic expectations or I haven't given her the tools to do her job properly. She told me she is afraid to approach me to ask for help. Me? Unapproachable? Ok, I concede that the nice sharp teeth might be a wee bit intimidating. Despite my reassurances, I know she doesn't believe that I won't bite her in two if she comes in asking for help, so I tried something novel. I gave her a candy corn-shaped sticky note (hey - I'm seasonal - cut me some slack) upon which I wrote 'HELP ME'. I told her that if she comes into my office to ask for help despite her fears, as long as she's waving the candy corn (or putting it on her forehead as she suggested), I won't growl at her, bite her, or otherwise act like those NYC lawyer-types I like to eat for breakfast. Kind of like one of those 'no-harm' contracts. Sigh - can I help it if warm and fuzzy just escapes me??? Well, I guess I can try...

Anyway, it has been a crazy day. I have to keep it short so I can get home to see 'My Name is Earl' (my new favorite redneck comedy) and set the VCR (yes, I still have one of those and I know how to use it) to tape Law & Order SVU while I'm at the pool. If I didn't have mindless television to look forward to...well, let's just say my paralegal would be a helluva lot more afraid than she already is...

So, lest I be completely superficial, my sincerest condolences to everyone in the earthquake-affected zone for the incredible loss of life and desctruction. I also will say an extra prayer for the loved ones of people in the affected area - how devastated they must be not knowing (or possibly worse - knowing) what has happened to their families/friends. I took a major mental excursion yesterday along the theo-geological lines (hey, it's a word...uh...yeah). Pondering the cause of all these natural disasters (earthquake in Iran, the tsunami, all the hurricanes affecting the Gulf and Central America, this most recent earthquake) made me analyze my theological belief systems. After much delving into what I have been taught in church, what life has taught me, what I refuse to be taught, and some made up stuff that just sounded kind of cool, I have decided that I'm not certain of anything. I do have faith, however, that there is a higher power (whether you want to call it God, Buddha, Allah or Mother Earth) and that this higher power is not an evil-doer as the word is modernly used in most religions (excluding usage by the followers of one George W. Schmuckhead). From a scientific view, I suspect that these events are interrelated, kind of along the lines of when Pangea broke apart. The crap inside my head is either very interesting or very boring, depending upon your point of view. Basically, I could drive myself insane thinking about stuff, so that's why I need mindless television to help me through.

Crud, it is already 18:38 so I have to cruise.

PS Scientists think they are sooo intelligent calling fish the new 'brain food'. What a load of hooey - my mother has been calling it that since I can remember.

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