Get old, stay cool

Those punk-a$$ kids that hang out in front of the kwikee mart will get out of your way when you show up all tatted out with these:















Look your best when you meet your maker with this beauty kit:















Instead of talking about your colon and your pee all the time, just wear it around your neck. All the hip kids wear "bling":









Two things that suck about aging: losing your hearing and forgetting where you put your keys. Here's your solution:









As you can see, I have way too much free time on my hands so I have been scouring the web for the odd, strange and truly offbeat. If you want to see more or want to purchase any of the above, go to www.perpetualkid.com.